I told myself that I should stay away from this thing for as long as I don't have anything good to say. It's been well over a month.

In addition, I don't really want to remember most of the things that have been going through my head recently. Yeah, It's pretty much depressing.

Lately, I've been feeling like I don't belong here. The people, the environment, the politics... it's all foreign to me. The only thing left that I feel comfortable with is my ability to function in lab. So, I've been sticking to that primarily. Unfortunately, even the lab isn't a sanctuary from feeling this way. I don't really get along with the other students in the Biochem department. It's like they cliqued early in the year and it set in stone quickly. There's no room for a tardy microbiology orphan. Oh well, now I have no excuse if I screw up in lab.

The prospect of transferring becomes more and more lucrative with each passing day.


But in the meantime, I guess it's time to reset things. Wipe the slate clean, make different friends, find out what I've been missing out on. I need to change the way I've been living or else I'll end up killing myself or something. I need to forget all the shit that's happened since September because it's just weighing me down. I'll still be bitter about it and if you have a problem about that, too bad, because that's not changing anytime soon.

So yeah, I'm resetting things. I'm not going to reach out to anybody until they reach out to me. If you want to talk, call. If you don't, then forget about me. It's only from the ruins we can begin anew.


As I had mentioned earlier, the more I think about it the more I feel I'm better off at transferring. The only things holding me back are pretty much the cost of moving, and essentially losing two years since I'm sure a lot of credits won't transfer.

If I do get out of here, I'm sure that everybody here will realize in the end that they never really missed me at all.

With this, hopefully things are going to be on the up and up and maybe I'll find somewhere I belong in Syracuse.

FTW, FTW. Just keep doing you, dude. If you ever need to vent, gimme a call. Otherwise, I'll see you in a matter of days and we can just get your mind off of everything. Looking forward to having you back for the short time it'll be. Take care my brother. Love you man.
-Brian - 061206 - 1950EST



It's been a couple of years since I last saw you in WA, but that doesn't mean you can't call me if you need to talk/rant about something. Things have a way of working themselves out, but who says you can't bitch about it in meantime?
-Gina - 061207 - 0951EST



Not to rain on your parade - just trying to help in my 'tarded way. I miss ya man! Get genki soon with the folks at home. And I highly encourage the transferring - you dont need all that shiet. I say go to Florida since I'm still a lowly 1st year when I get back next year!!! You still have time to apply!!! I think!!! Come be warm, ride your bike around the alligators and be a 1st year grad student with me. We can get drunk everyday until our livers die - since that's all there is to do in town (being "downtown" consists of 5 blocks max)
-star - 061209 - 0410EST



I highly support you transferring to Florida to hang out with Star. Just sayin.

I'm sorry that you've been dealt such a shitty hand - but it sounds like you're getting through it the best you can. You know, the value of getting out of a bad situation can not be underestimated. There are some things that just aren't worth it. Either way, you have lots of people who care about you - and if the people out in Syracuse knew better, they'd take better care of you.

Best wishes...
-Kristi - 061216 - 1234EST
http://www.mykristi.com
kgovella@gmail.com